Should I Shop Online or Offline? A Shoppers' Guide.
Steve Hawker
I went shopping with my wife the other day, to a British city centre
nearby. My ordeal lasted ten hours. During many idle moments, I compiled
this rough guide for shoppers who are unsure whether to shop online
or offline in future.I decided that shoppers SHOULD shop offline, at
a nearby shopping centre, if they:
Enjoy getting up early, to drive
through slow-moving traffic and secure cheap parking places.
Aren't
too worried if their parked cars are scratched or bumped anonymously
whilst they're out shopping.
Thrive outdoors in the British
climate, and are impervious to rain, hail, snow, wind, heat,
frost, fog etc.
Welcome walking from shop to shop, to find what they
or their partner needs, at the best prices.
Don't panic when
their partner says that s/he wants to try an eighth store for a
special something'.
Like driving and/or walking back to stores,
if goods are faulty, the wrong size or they forget something.
View
the carrying of heavy plastic bags, which slice into their hands,
as a form of exercise.
See avoiding pickpockets, thieves and robbers
as a bit of sport' too.
Tolerate sinister young men with a taste
for lager, lurking in boisterous groups on street corners.
Humour
young parents with 4x4 buggies and/or unruly, unrestrained toddlers
that scream loudly.
Think retired people should only go shopping
at the weekends and in the evenings, at the same time as people
who work.
Believe wide friends have the right to amble slowly side-by-side,
in ways that block pavements and passageways.
Don't mind
being buffeted by other hungry shoppers, also trying to secure tables
at eating outlets.
Shrug-off the astronomic prices in shopping
centres, for snacks and drinks of indifferent quality.
Enjoy dodging
cars, vans and lorries, and feel they belong in city centres
during shopping hours.
Think that second-hand cigarette smoke and
vehicle fumes add a certain something' to shopping.
Relish sharing
strangers' viruses, bacteria, body odours, exotic language, odd
habits etc.
Are tolerant of shop assistants' occasional bad manners,
surly behaviour and incompetence.
Like queuing, smelly toilets
and litter, and/or removing dog mess and chewing gum from shoes or
buggy wheels.
Enjoy finding quiet spots in otherwise confined, crowded
and claustrophobic public spaces.
Think graffiti really is an
art form, and smile when shop maintenance goes unattended for weeks.
Shrug
their shoulders if shops open only when it's convenient for owners,
staff (and politicians).
Remove carefully the flyers left furtively
under their windscreen wipers whilst parked and read them avidly
later.
I could go on but, if you identify yourself with most of these
phenomena, then you probably should shop at a shopping centre nearby.
If, like me though, you find many of them irksome, you might consider
shopping online instead next time.
Steve Hawker is a partner at http://www.ehawker.co.uk E-mail him at: info@ehawker.co.uk Steve Hawker 2005. All rights reserved. The article must be reproduced in its entirity, including this biography.